Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Get That Shotgun Off My Face, Please!

Yesterday, after meeting several friends I haven’t seen in a very long time, I did the unthinkable and brought a man home.

Before there’s any reaction from my readers, I would like to clarify the idea. I did not do anything dirty, and I had no intention to. It was just the literal meaning of the phrase “brought a man home” and nothing else. This isn’t a big deal for most families but for mine, it is. No matter how I try to assert an inconspicuous existence in this house, I am still my parents’ only child, about to turn 30, and a doctor at that, and apparently it’s a very big deal for them that I am still single and have always stayed single ever since I breathed my first breath in this world. And so no matter how I try to convince them otherwise, they have always made it known in their quiet and sometimes-not-so-subtle ways that they’re getting on in their years and I, in my pathetic solitary state, should already come to my senses because I owe them an apo.

And so, that being the state of my household, I refused to face the facts and still decided to bring my man home. And by “my man”, I mean someone I’ve grown up with, known to the core for the past 15 years, cried with, argued with, vomited with (or even vomited at), everything you can imagine good old childhood friends have shared, plus everything they will probably share (heartbreaks, weddings, christenings, strollers, glucometers, arthritis medications, Viagra prescriptions, funeral homes). It was a great thing that “my man” is a tall, great-looking, smart, funny, thoughtful and sweet guy who happens to be interested in farming and who happens to be straight. Although it was also an absurd coincidence that he was single.

That being the state of “my man”, I forewarned him. The last time I brought a man home, the household was in an uproar and my dad gave him the interview and there was a shotgun displayed in the bathroom for him to gaze at. A not-so-subtle way of pointing a shotgun at someone, huh?

My good friend said he wouldn’t mind. And so the visit went on. The evening and the conversations were excellent, light, humorous, and natural. We visited the farm, talked about future ventures. There was no grand interview, no bottle of brandy, no shotgun, not even until I hugged my friend goodbye. We looked at each other, “No shotgun.” And we laughed. Boy, I was relieved.

When my friend was gone, my mother came to me. And she said, “OK sya.” I just glared back. She then proceeded to lecture me on marriage and family life.

I just kept quiet. There was no grand interview, no bottle of brandy, no shotgun in the bathroom. But this was worse. The shotgun was being pointed right at me.

Next time, it's going to be a cannon, or an armalite, I'd bet. Plus a knife at my throat. Waaah!


dr_clairebear said...

mother, i think our parents are just hoping for a glimmer of hope that the seeming inevitable for us is not true, so pagpasensyahan mo na. hehehe. although the history you have with "your man" seems to be the ideal jump off point to him becoming your man - if you're willing to risk it. ;P

on a different note, i doubt if my parents have reached the stage of enlightenment that they'd be happy for me to bring home a guy who doesn't have to fit the bill, only to be a guy. :)) give it a few years...

hey! i bought THREE swimsuits today - so much for willpower. you will not believe what one of them looks like... ang kapal ng mukha ko, pero, hey, people here don't care, so okay lang - just have to make sure i don't wear it where i can be seen by people i actually know. it's all part and parcel of becoming the me i want to be. ;)

miss you, mama jean!

rayms said...

@mama jean - i guess the guy you brought home may be the right guy for your parents, but he is not the one you are looking for? hahahahha

@claire - anong kinalaman ng swimsuits sa pagkuha ng lalake? hmmm... OMG, it's your way telling the world that I have swimsuits, COME AND GET ME!!! hhahaha


Walking on Water said...

@claire: the risk is never mine to take. God will take care of that at the right time.=) it just pisses me off sometimes when some people just can't wait, while I'm having such a fantastic time waiting.
whoa! 3 swimsuits! i can only imagine how skimpy they are. now, those will really make you bring home a man, and then some! hehe. wink wink.

@raymond: hmmm... what was i looking for again? evolution is really good. hehehe

happy new year mothers! i miss you big time!

Reena said...

I'm hooked with your blog..I get the same treatment here at home. Hahaha. I think all parents are the same.