Certain Patterns

It feels extremely weird to be blogging from home. For one, internet access is terrible. It seems to have understood the general theme and decided to go along – it’s as slow as life itself. My brain has also atrophied. Whatever little vocabulary I had left was eaten up by long, brainless hours in front of the television, just surfing channels. I also discovered a fascination for the TV series, Dexter. These days, I spend hours watching one episode after another. (Yeah, I’m too predictable. I’m in love with the laconic, eccentric, serial-killing dude with severe intimacy issues. Sigh, some patterns never change. If he exists in real life, I’d be smiling even as he chops me up.) My sleeping pattern has also changed. I get 8-hour sleep during evenings plus a 2-4 hour nap during the afternoons. Oh boy, if this must go on, I can never survive in Manila again.

My friends used to speculate on how long I’ll manage to stay sane at home. My great mentor, in his usual trusting manner, said I’d find a way to love being here. Some of my friends gave me 2 months, some 1 month, or 2 weeks, or 1 week. Whoever gave me one week was right. One week of rest and I’m dying to go back to work. Work in dirty, noisy, overcrowded Manila.

But, heck. This is reality. I’m down to my last paycheck. And nobody in this godforsaken town accepts me for moonlighting jobs. Ugh! I guess I have to be practical. There are piles of backlog work I brought from Manila, still left untouched. These, I have yet to deal with.

So for the next few days, my love affair with the serial killing weirdo named Dexter would have to unfold. At least until the new year comes, I can’t break off certain patterns yet. Or hmmm, will I ever?

Hey, I'm trying here.