Monday, April 4, 2011

Major Major

Just had a double whammy is 36 hours. WaaaahhhHHH!!! This is what that famous beauty queen called a "major-major". Ganun pala ang feeling. When something drops on you like a bomb, you're just stunned and unfeeling and all you can think of is "Oh my God, this is a major major."

Oh by the way, the person who started that "major-major" fad became famous because of it. She's a beauty queen for chrissakes. While you, that major major fool who was caught in a major major quagmire is stuck in your major major hell.

Help!!! Something is so wrong with this world!!!

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After hours of critical thinking, I therefore conclude that life should be summed up into one four letter word: KEBS!!!

Isn't it amazing how life itself will actually tell you what to do? Say, your choices are blurry and you're whimpering in a corner with all your wits scared out of you or you don't have a single inkling about why and how you're still alive or where and when you'll start living. And then suddenly, by some amazing and even hilarious design of destiny, some tragedy just happens and then pooof! Clarity follows.

For instance, when I was growing up, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was just so content lounging around, reading Nancy Drew books, eating galunggong, and getting fat while watching Agila and Anna Luna or even Cedie and Princess Sarah. I imagined I'll be Courtney Love, or the next Sharon Cuneta, or the next Miss Universe. But then destiny stepped in and orchestrated what I still prefer to think of as a tragedy - my sheer lack of artistic talents and my absolute fatness. Aaargh, my royal fatness! Ugh, bye bye showbiz. Bye bye modeling.

To compensate for everything I lack, God gave me a brain plus a little (but frequently annoying) bit of yabang. And then he topped that with loads and loads of idleness. Oooohlahlaaah, oozing with pure unadulterated idleness. In other words, all roads led to Medicine. Now, I'm a doctor. An aging doctor who still has no idea what she will do with her life. And I am still so content with lounging around, reading Nancy Drew books, eating galunggong, and getting fat... And so on, and so forth...

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Sometimes they call it pruning. When somebody cuts off something's unnecessary parts. Like when you think your ingrown toenail is so fantastic you don't want it removed even if your big toe is already festering and your sock smells like the garbage bin there at OBAS on a post duty day. Oh, you're getting my drift, aren't you?

God is doing me some pruning now. Ok, Lord. Take off my ingrown toenail, or my rotting tooth. Cut of my hair, remove my acne. Give me a nice refreshing foot spa. Prune me as you deem fit.

Do what you want with me. This time, I'm kebs. Kebsness is the way to go now. I trust in Your glory. Take me in all my kebsness!

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Speaking of prunes. My blogger buddy Fox Scully Will recently wrote about prunes and cherry popping. And I was like, if a cherry remains unpopped, what will become of it? What's a dried up cherry called?

There are dried grapes and dried plums. I've never heard of a dried cherry.

But then again, who cares about an unpopped cherry? Not me, for more kebsness.

1 comment:

will said...

for moooooore kebsness!ahahahahah kebsness is the way to live! it's more fun to keep things unpopped till they swell uncontrollably and explode!