Six months of 2009 have come and gone. Yesterday I was making a list of the things I've accomplished substantial enough to be listed. And there was none. The rest of the day I was walking around in a daze. At 2PM, I had enough of it so I climbed up the top bunk of the CVS callroom bed and did what I do best - sulk. I didn't care about my ward patients or the newly dropped referrals yet to be seen. I just laid down on that bunk and stared at the ceiling until sleep came.
This is what I call the mid-year slump - when you're far from achieving the goals you've set for yourself at the beginning of the year, and too weary of the excitement of the supposed adventures you got yourself into. This is the in-between time - the time when nothing much is really happening. This is the time to hibernate, to wait it out, to hang on. No wonder couples get married in June. They're simply too bored. Or too mad. (This last one is a matter of opinion.)
I woke up at 4PM, still sick with the flu. Still post-duty tired. But in 4 hours, I was able to see all my patients and make decent-enough entries in their charts.
Perhaps the only bridge between hope and despair is a nice long sleep. I wish I could sleep this entire month off.