Sunday, February 8, 2009

Thinking loosely and in outline form

  • For the first time since I started traveling, there's no post-travel depression to deal with. I now realize why post-travel blues happen - it's when you know you can never be part of something beautiful even if you want to, when you're certain you will never see the place again as you used to, when you're terrified of losing something you never really had. The remedy, I realize, is acceptance. In Kubler Ross' vocabulary, I'm in the acceptance stage. That stage when you scratch at something so hard to see it bleed, and then nothing happens, so you just let it die. After years of being a doctor in the country's biggest government hospital, watching someone die has become an art I have skillfully mastered. What I learn in Medicine has to be translated to real life. Watch something die and do nothing. Watch something die and feel nothing. It's about time.
  • I'm finally back in the city. The old building in my street has been demolished. The walls are now filled with colorful, neon graffiti, very masterfully designed that I wondered if it's an art form in a way. Who defines art, anyway? What constitutes ugliness? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is it then defined by the number of people who consider the subject beautiful?
  • Few days to Valentine's Day. I have resolved to never celebrate it. But this year, I'm going to celebrate for the first time in my adult life. I'm going to ditch my black outfit and wear red, have a fancy dinner and cap the evening with a bottle of red wine. No matter how commercialized the day has become, love is always a wonderful thing. Love, in whatever form, as long as it's real, deserves a celebration.

No comments: