I have assumed the role of the workaholic for a dangerously long time. From grade school, to med school, to residency, I wore the mask of the busy. But a sloth, by any other name, is still a sloth. Put a sloth in the fast lane and it will cause considerable traffic and subequently fatal mishaps.
Last week, after ten days of sleeping a maximum of 3 hours/day while cramming for the residents' oral exams that I had to make and organize, I was trying to get a bit of sympathy or at least some encouragement from anyone, so I complained to a friend, "I'm too toxic I'm getting crazy." It's either I was too distraught to be real or perhaps I sought sympathy from the wrong person. He may be insensitive but my well-meaning friend probably thought it was a compliment. His response: "It's just the way you like it, doctor."
That was the final blow. It's time for me to haul my bulk out of the fast lane and settle down in sloth-utopia where I really belong.
In order to dismiss some misconceptions about my apparent passion for work and sincerity in the pursuit of good, let me tell you some of my secrets:
1. The reason why I'm so busy doing menial tasks is because I'm too lazy to do anything else. No way, especially not the big ones.
2. The reason why I'm too nice and almost incapable of anger is because I'm too lazy to bother being angry. It takes more muscles to frown, and anger causes tachycardia.
3. The reason why I'm so patient is because I'm too lazy to demand for my fair share. It takes less energy to wait than to stand up and ask for something.
4. The reason why I sometimes come to work at 3AM is because I sleep at 6PM.
5. The reason why I sometimes leave the office at 3AM is because I fell asleep on Dr. Mejia's couch until 11 PM, with an article or a book, still on the first page.
6. The reason why I stay in the office even during weekends is because I'm too lazy to clean my apartment and my room is already too dirty to sleep in.
7. The reason why I gave easy and fair exams to my residents and students is because I'm too lazy to make a remedial exam for those who fail.
8. The reason why I passed almost all of the clerks and interns who were under me was because I was too tired to defend their failing grades or argue with parents and concerned consultants.
9. The reason why I'm taking a year-off "to see the need" is because I can't bear the thought of working on weekends anymore.
10. The reason why I'm writing this blog is because I'm too lazy to start complying with the ISO requirements I have to do. And rebellion is the mark of a thinking mind.
These are just 10 insights into my secret life. A pig that runs races gets roasted too soon. From now on, I'll stay in my mud puddle and enjoy the mud. Hate me, if you like, and be envious.
Next time you see me, remember, I'm not nice. Only lazy.