Instead of counting sheep

I still could not sleep. An avid sleeper, it's unusual for me to stay up later than 10 PM. Now it's almost midnight. I'm not on duty and I'm not out drinking either. So something must be troubling my melatonin functions, or my biological clock must have gone somewhat awry these days.

To allow sleep to take over, I couldn't help but think about mortality. Yes, death. Geeez, I am not thinking of suicide. Nah, I am not THAT stupid! And I'm not thinking about a mortality conference or that sort of stuff. I am not THAT nerdy!

What keeps me occupied is this: what is the best way to die?

Few years back, my good friend who is scared shitless of dying of renal failure and I had a conversation that went this way (errrr, sort of)...

Me: What would you rather die of - kidney failure or liver failure?
Him: Liver failure, of course.
Me: Oh really? So you want to die yellow?
Him: I'd rather die yellow than look apish. Why, you'd rather have yourself smelling like pee?
Me: Oh yeah, I'd rather smell like pee than bleed all over and smell like dead blood.
Him: And have acid and urine come out of your mouth?
Me: You'd rather have bile and poop come out of your mouth?
Him: Does it even matter? Would I even know it?
Me: I don't know. I've never tried.

Come to think of it, both deaths would be easy, perhaps. I mean, to the dying, at least. To the living, it's insufferably miserable. But to the dying, they'd all be obtunded anyway. Who knows what surprise is waiting for you before you cross to the other side? Well, no one ever came back to tell a credible story.

Tonight I'm thinking of other gross kadiri stuff. Like If you have to put a whole durian fruit into your stomach, where would you want it to enter? Through your mouth or through your butt? What would hurt more? Being eaten by Jaws? Or being crushed to pieces by Kingkong?

What's a better smell? Diabetic foot or cervical cancer?

Ewan. I'd better sleep.