Men Bashing 101

I wonder why I keep running into assholes. All my life, this has been among my gravest misfortunes, undeserved I must insist. Despite my generally sweet, selfless, and charming nature, my recent dealings with the opposite sex have been mostly limited to close encounters with the appalling kind (mostly, take note). For some reason, the closer I get to know these men, the stench of their backsides become more pronounced and outright revolting. I wish these people would understand what sensitivity is all about and how to live it. Thoughtfulness should be a characteristic of all human beings, not just of gay men. The formula is supposed to be simple – not everything in the world revolves around you. You are not the center of the solar system. Your asshole is not the center of the human body either (or is it?).

Masculinity is not and must not be equated with that superior degree of contemptible insensitivity, as if this subspecies of the male kind is utterly immune from the universality of that basic tenet of life we call “The Golden Rule”. It’s supposed to be easy. Before doing anything, every person, male or female, must consider: would I needlessly hurt anyone?

Maybe this subspecies of males should remember those billboards way back in the 1980s. They were called the Rotary Club’s 4-Way Test: 1. Is it the truth? 2. Is it fair to all concerned? 3. Will it bring goodwill and better friendships? 4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Maybe these types don’t know how to read. They just go through their lives doing as they please.

On the other hand, assholes are extremely charming. I admit I have a thing for them.

Good thing I have bowel movement regularly and I still fart occasionally. This means my one asshole is working. Assholes all over the place and all up for grabs? Uhhmmm, no thank you, kind sirs. Mine is still working well. One ass hole is good enough for me.

Disclaimer: To all my male readers, this post is not intended for you. Bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan, deadma!