Sunday, July 31, 2011

The L Word

Today, I realized I'm utterly worn out and fed up with this man-hunting business that I'm calling
it quits. Seriously. This cherry-popping endeavor is simply way out of my league. So what if I end up with a prunified cherry? So what if I'm a grumpy, lonely, SINGLE octogenarian lady admitted at PGH Ward 1? I am conceding, finally. After years of hoping that I'll ever move out of this singlehood clique and finally be among the ranks of those elite enough to have their Facebook statuses changed to "in a relationship", I'm giving up.

I'm putting that "L" sign on my forehead. Not Lesbian, dumbass. This hot, smart lady (ehem) who used to (used to, take note) believe in Prince Charming is 100% straight. I was only searching for an eccentric, traveling, brooding prince who knows how to spell! I wasn't looking for a Tom Cruise or a Brad Pitt (but I won't say no to a Jim Sturgess, haha), an OK-faced guy would have been enough. And yeah, if he's taller than me, loves the Beatles, plays the guitar and has a good singing voice, I'd ask him to marry me. Plus if he has a stable job, I'd beg him, down on bended knees, please Mr. Endangered Species, please stay and be my man.

Let me tell you about the incident that pushed me over the ledge of prunification. Today, a beautiful, rainy Sunday, I had this rare encounter with His Royal Weirdness, Mr. Endangered Species. Of course my crazy L-self had this silly alarm that went off immediately. It was perfect. He was perfect. We had breakfast but the conversation was so good we had to extend to lunch, then beer. It was pure chemistry. We had to part late in the afternoon though. Too bad.

Hopeful and giddy with excitement, my silly L self decided to play a little flirting game. An hour after Mr. Endangered Species dropped me off at the hospital, I sent him a text: "Thanks for the great time. It's been one rare perfect day."

I was just so happy and so high that if he texted "Tnx rn phow, iMiszqcKyuH... ", I would have ran along Roxas Boulevard under the rain all the way to his house and ask him to marry me. To my chagrin however, Mr. Endangered replied the smartest, sweetest line I've encountered: "Yeah, great weather."

Pak!!! Minsan na nga lang ako lumandi, palpak pa. Waaaaah...

So if you see me walking along the hospital corridors with a sore face and an L on my forehead, just give me a smile and your sincere condolences. I'm currently mourning the loss of Prince Charming. Mr. Endangered Species is now officially extinct. Let the prunification begin!


will said...

ahahahahahah malay mo ma'am jean sya na ang puputok ng cherry mo. mas pangit pakinggan pag tagalog. pero who knows. pero ang goal, the ultimate goal in aging, is to have enough funds... para di mapunta sa ward 1! Ahahahhahahahah!!!

BOTD said...

@sir will: IKR! alam mo may pt ako before na retired OB na asa ward 3! shooot.

Ma'am Jean, ok lang yan...baka shy lang si Mr. Endangered Species! hehehehe. manood ka ng Flipped! It's oh so cute. gusto ko ng sycamore tree. ahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

prunification. it caught on.

i like prunes, though. they help a lot. and they are really good on cakes. so rather than resigning into prunification, bake it up and enjoy it in it's full glory.

after alll, cherries, though sweet, are sometimes a tad bit over-rated.

:) - smoketh