Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's Complicated

Why is it that when people ask the usual questions and you tell them the usual answers, they continue to probe further and ask more questions? And so you try to come up with the simplest answers using the shortest statements and try to approximate the facts as much as possible.

Take this bizarre scenario for example (I'm sorry but it IS bizarre for me!). You do something magnanimous for a very good friend and people start asking you "Why?". And so you say, "Uhhmmm, because we're friends!" And people start asking you more questions such as, "But why are you doing this?" or "Isn't your sacrifice too much?" or "What kind of friends?" or "Is he your boyfriend?" or "Are you sure you're just friends?" And so you start avoiding the very typical and absurdly inaccurate showbiz "we're-just-friends" answer and use a different strategy.

"We're cousins." I'd say. And then more questions come. "Which side of the family?" or "So your mom and his mom are sisters?" or "How come you don't resemble each other?" or "So you have the cancer gene too?" Nooooo! Stop these! Alright! Do I have to outline my entire family tree so people will finally get it? No, we're not cousins, satisfied? Not even a single microliter of blood can make us blood relatives! But does it require some sort of a genetic connection for anyone to love anyone as family?

And so we're back to, "We're friends." And then the same old questions come.

Please, enough!!!

How much can anybody ever give to anyone in need and still be considered socially or morally appropriate? Some give to complete strangers (usually via a limited and a short-time deal) and the world will suddenly praise them as saints. You give to someone who's dearly loved by someone you also love and then suddenly, you end up the proverbial time-bomb that might explode and screw everything up anytime. And you remain a potential villain unless you can provide logical answers and definitions to the usual questions the rest of the world asks.

I don't need definitions. And I don't even consider myself as having given anything. Sometimes the things you suddenly do just come out naturally, like you would have done the same things anytime, in any situation. And you're just absolutely sure you're right, and you will do everything over and over again, without keeping account.

For the past several days, I have finally come up with the best answer to the usual questions. I just say, "It's complicated." And suddenly, like a magical charm, people suddenly have a glimmer in their eyes, and a knowing smile on their lips, and an obviously hardly suppressed laughter. And then they keep quiet. They nod their heads if they understand. And surprisingly, it seems that they do understand.

Ahhh, it's complicated. Love is. Life is. And perhaps everything in this world, no matter how simple, has a bit of complexity in them. It's complicated. And somehow, I just realized, I like it this way.

1 comment:

drrayms said...

mama jean, it doesn't have to be complicated...