I don't believe in bad hair days. It's either you have a hair worthy of a shampoo commercial, or bad hair for the rest of your life. I am one of those unfortunate enough to be classified under the latter - my hair is perpetually thin - with strands like those of a 3 year old's, and perennially curly - with short ones vehemently standing up in kinks and in coils despite all intense efforts at taming them. But I won't be writing about my ugly hair. I'll be ranting about my bad hair life, filled with terrible, and oh so gravely horrifying bad hair days. And as if these days are not enough, some just simply stand out - some days are a gazillion times more awful than the already disgusting and insipid ordinary day.
Today is one of them. Perhaps it's because I woke up later than I had planned I should. Perhaps it's because I again found myself sleeping in the hospital for the 3rd straight day when my next duty is yet to be in October. This is me - the new resident-fellow. Ugh, what else is new? I've been sleeping in this hospital since I was a student, then as a resident, even as a chief resident. And now, here I am again, what's so different about fellowship when it is just an extension of residency after all? Sometimes it's just so tempting to go up to the 7th floor of the hospital, stand on that ledge facing Taft Avenue, and then jump off, with Tom Petty crooning in my head "now i'm free, free falling..."
I'm not stoned. I'm just having a bad day. Extraordinarily dreadful days are days like these - everything is going well, things are falling into place, but you simply can't take any pleasure out of it.
Later in the evening, I went to the mall to splurge on a solo fancy dinner. Still not satisfied despite my already distended bowels, I proceeded to seek solace in an old sadness treat -Peanut Butter Chocolate Dream Bar from Mrs. Fields - which ended up tasting like mud. Tonight I will be going to bed in the fellows' callroom again, grieving over my extra calorie intake.
Somebody once said that the bridge between hope and despair is a good night's sleep. I just wish that tomorrow, I'll wake up with better hair.